Do you remember a time where you had to attend a new school, class, job or an event and you felt alone? You probably felt like you did not belong there or you shouldn’t have came in the first place.

This is exactly how I felt as I dived into the gaming community more and more… it was difficult for me to find my place. In Critical Ops, there is a clan system which is basically an exclusive tight-knit group. There is so many to choose from and not all of them are willing to accept you usually for two reasons:

1) You don’t meet their requirements (low ranked or kill/death ratio is too low).

or

2) They just don’t like you.

As unfair as that sounds, yes this is how it usually is in the world of gaming. We are judged by our ranking and k/d ratio just like how we are judged by our appearance and social media in reality.

There were a few clans where I did not meet the requirements, so I was automatically rejected. Then there were the other set of clans where I was accepted into, but I never stayed so long.

Why?

Clans that usually accepted me was due to the fact that they knew I was a girl. As a result, EVERYONE in the clan knew about my gender and would often make jokes behind my back. They would also judge my overall score in a match more harshly than the rest of the other members.

So… I decided to stay alone for awhile and just play the game. Why would I put myself through all this trouble just to gain exclusivity from a clan? Similar to reality.. why would I go through the trouble of editing photos and videos for Instagram and Snapchat just to gain validation from friends?

Finally, December rolled around and I stumbled across a clan called IFL which is a top ranked clan in North America that was recruiting a girls team. I decided to take this opportunity and try out even though I was still getting used to competitive gameplay.

I can still recall clearly the night when I took my Math final on College Avenue and receiving a notification that I have been accepted into IFL‘s Girls Team.

Of course this only makes me question whether my experience in IFL will be similar to the past clans I have been in or maybe even worse? Luckily, this wasn’t the case. They all welcomed me into the clan and I started to grow close to everyone like a second family.

On top of that, the girls team and I practiced well together to the point where we started to dominate other teams that have been playing longer than us.

Whether you are going to a new school, class, job, event or a new world of your passion, it’s okay to feel alone and to feel that you may not even belong there. By entering something new, you are stepping out of your comfort zone, but this only makes us grow as individuals.

Don’t quit nor give up in something or somewhere just because it feels uncomfortable and new to you.

Give it a chance. Give it some time. You will find the right people that enlightens you. You will find your place.

Thank you so much for reading! Can’t wait to tell you about the next chapter of my gaming journey!